I recently posted a picture on Instagram that revelas my whole body and included a shot of my scale tipping in at 294.5 pounds. I weighed less than that on the day I delivered my daughter twenty months ago! When I graduated from high school I was 5'8" and weighed around 150 pounds, which is healthy and proportionate for my frame. Now, ten years later I've nearly doubled my weight and have all sorts of health problems that you would expect to see with morbid obesity. As a child I always turned to food when I was bored or upset. Being unhappy with my weight as a teenager led to an eating disorder and the consequential weight loss, but still I was not satisfied with my weight. It took many months to get over the guilty, hate-filled feeling I felt every time that I ate. Eventually, I recovered. Once the food-guilt subsided, I was always scared to diet or watch what I ate for fear that it would be the catalyst that started the downward spiral into another eating disorder. Reckless eating habits and a not-so-active lifestyle would probably cause anyone to gain a few pounds; however, I have a few health conditions (I'll get more into that later) that can lead to weight gain. Those two ingredients were a recipe for disaster, hence the massive weight gain. For so long I have been in denial about how much weight I've gained. Over time I quit looking at the scale, started to ignore my increasing dress size, and totally disregarded how sick and tired I was feeling.
Fast-forward to last week. After neglecting to take the medication for my Hoshimoto's (an autoimmune thyroid disease) for an entire week I could barely get off of the couch. I felt subhuman and lethargic. After a few days of feeling like this I noticed my twenty month-old daughter was beginning to be less physically active. She was mimicking the actions she saw from me - laying around, being sedentary. I realized that I could not let my health impact her that way. I got on the scale to assess the damage and nearly had a nervous breakdown when I realized I was just a few, small pounds from weighed 300 pounds. I knew I had to do something. I could go on and on about how devastated I was that I'd gotten to this point, but I think you can all imagine the pain and guilt of feeling like you've let yourself AND your child down... so I'll just let that marinate with you for a moment.
Now, it is just coincidence that this revelation came just days before the start of a new year. I decided that I needed to do some preparation in order to get back into good health the right way. I have an autoimmune disease called Hoshimoto's thyroiditis. Basically my thyroid doesn't function properly so my antibodies (immune system warriors that fight off infection) spend their time/energy on trying to kill my thyroid instead of doing their normal job. Not only does it affect my immune system, but it has a negative impact on just about every aspect of my health. Hoshi's can make it incredibly difficult to lose weight due to hormonal imbalance. Also, I have a metabolic disorder called PCOS. PCOS can manifest in many different ways, but my cluster of symptoms include insulin resistance, androgen dominance (too much testosterone), progesterone deficiency (the hormone that sustains pregnancy) and... weight gain. So... with all of that said, I knew I needed to seek help from my endocrinologist (who I already see for thyroid nodules) and the dietician he works closely with.
Well, I set up the appointment with my endo and dietician, but knew that I needed to make a lifestyle plan to help facilitate the changes I needed to make. The system had to be stet up in a way that was doable for me on a long-term basis. After a lot of research what I've found is that most people who go through dramatic weight loss (without weight loss surgery) are likely to say that the best way to accomplish your goals is to take baby steps. I've also read that when making lifestyle changes you should always give yourself 2 weeks to adjust to changes, and that if you can do something for 2 weeks it will become habit. That lead me to believe that the best way for me to accomplish my larger goal (of losing 100+ pounds) would be to tackle smaller goals every 2 weeks. By smaller goals I don't mean weight loss milestones, I mean lifestyle changes - resolutions, in a way. So, by making these "Whole Life Resolutions" every 2 weeks I hope to be able to stick to my changes.
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